For a decade now, I have owned a CD collection of some of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches and sermons. I listen to it on long road trips, around Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and anytime I'm in need of some spirited inspiration. There's one excerpt from a sermon that I turn to whenever I need some encouraging.

King is speaking soberly about the threats made on his life and the life of his family shortly after the birth of his first child. One night, he received a midnight call ordering him to leave town in three days or face death and the bombing of his home. Although he had received calls like this before, this time the call really got to him, and something broke loose in King’s spirit. He realized couldn’t call on anyone but God. Religion had to become real to him. He had to know God for himself. So he bowed down, in his kitchen, over a cup of midnight coffee and prayed this prayer,

"Lord, I'm down here trying to do what's right…
I think the cause that we represent is right.
But Lord, I must confess that I'm weak now,
and faltering, and losing my courage."

Rev. King goes on in his sermon to say, "I don't mind telling you this morning that sometimes I feel discouraged…living every day under the threat of death, I feel discouraged sometimes. Living every day under extensive criticism, even from Negroes, I feel discouraged sometimes… sometimes I feel discouraged and feel my work's in vain. But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again. There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole. There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick souls."

These words ring true to me today, because I too feel discouraged sometimes, and in need of that balm that brings healing to the soul.

And when I hear the call to send 20,000-30,000 more young people into war, I feel discouraged. When our President consistently addresses political problems with militaristic solutions, I feel discouraged. When I hear soldiers speak of the bloody civil war ramping up in Iraq, I feel discouraged. When I learn of another soldier returning home without an arm or a leg, suffering from PTSD, I feel discouraged. Sometimes I feel discouraged and wonder if our work is in vain.

There are times, like Dr. King recalls, when philosophical and theological reasons for the existence of violence and suffering don't seem to offer any answers. Those moments when I feel discouraged, powerless to reason my way into hope, are some of the more vulnerable moments of my life. Despair threatens to consume me like a flame.

I say this not to discourage you, but to acknowledge the very real spiritual challenges we face as people who believe in and work for peace. I am deeply encouraged by the fact that Martin Luther King Jr.'s commitment to nonviolent social change, and his vision of the beloved community, led to the dismantling of segregation. He accomplished so much in his labor for justice and peace, yet he had very human moments when he confessed his burdens and looked to God for renewal.

I think we benefit from such confessions as well. In fact, sometimes it is in the lowest moments when I hear God's voice most clearly, saying:

"Stand up for righteousness.
Stand up for justice.
Stand up for truth.
And I will be with you."

It's no coincidence that President Bush addressed the nation about the war in Iraq on the eve of Martin Luther King Jr. weekend. The contradiction between the faith in action lived out by Rev. King and our current policies in Iraq could not be more glaring. Yet last Thursday night, more than 1,000 communities in 50 states gathered together to say "No" to Bush's proposed escalation of the war. King's movement for nonviolent social change is not a relic of our past… a movement is afoot to overcome our common grief and despair with action for peace. May God's balm heal our souls, and make the wounded whole.

All quotes come directly from "Dr. King's Entrance into Civil Rights Movement," as heard on the CD In Search of Freedom, 1995.

"America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing, except a tragic death wish, to prevent us from re-ordering our priorities, so that the pursuit of peace will take precedence over the pursuit of war." –"Beyond Vietnam: Breaking the Silence," April 4,1967 "A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death." -"Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?," 1967